Appendix F -- Cookie Project

I am a chocolate chip cookie!

The ingredients of the cookie are all the systems that have worked together to make me who I am in personality, values, weaknesses etc. The ingredients working separately of one another do not suffice to make the whole cookie.

They must all “cook” together to make the system of me. The systems that I will talk about represented within the cookie are my “internalized” system, those that work within me, those that have shaped me who I am over time, or some time in my past.


“When you see whole systems, you start noticing where things come from and where they go. You begin to see that there is no ‘away’ to throw things to… To see not only things but also relationships, opens your vision immensely” (Meadows, p.102).


I have separated all the systems that work within me into categories representing each trait of a freshly baked cookie. I will introduce each cookie trait, relate that to my personality, then list the different systems that have shaped that part of me the most.











Freshly baked cookies are WARM!!


I, too, have warmth. I enjoy helping people, I strive to spread love, I am approachable, and forgiving.

The SYSTEMS that have shaped these parts of me are:

Human Services School: This is guiding me in identifying the ins and outs of my being a helpful person. Just my being drawn to this program is confirming in me, my inherent helpfulness.

Religion: As a kid, religion was useful in teaching me the concepts of showing love through actions, and unconditional love. It made me want to be the kind of person that people felt better after having known.

Abuse: My experiences with abuse and the healing process has taught me that true forgiveness is not easy, but also necessary for healing and growing. I’ve had a lot of practice in forgiveness and consider myself a tolerant, patient, and negotiable person.








Chocolate chip cookies have CHOCOLATE!!
To me chocolate represents youthfulness and also womanhood. Two very important parts of who I am.
The SYSTEMS that have shaped these parts of me are:
Media: I am scared of ageing. I get nervous around my birthday each year. I worry about ageing “gracefully” and losing my identity as I get older. The media has a strong influence in what shapes our views about what the “social norm” is in terms of age. It is best to be young, or at least look it. I recognize that I have been susceptible to the media system and its persuasive power.
Gender Roles: well…Chocolate = woman. That is a gender roll in itself, huh? But I also embody the gender role of mother, home maker, wife, dishwasher… etc. Luckily, I thrive in this role so it does not hurt my spirit to be involved in this system.
Usually cookies aren’t alone, they are
SURROUNDED WITH OTHERS!!
This is all about the social aspect of me. I love to be around others. I love when there is “something going on”. I like crowds and being in groups of people, parties, classes, tours etc. I fill my energy banks with people contact. I am an extrovert. And, as with cookies, I also really shine with one-on-one connections. (people like to eat cookies) .
The SYSTEMS that have shaped these parts of me are:
Birth Order: I am a youngest sibling. I was rarely alone growing up and demanded attention to be noticed.
American: Our culture has many spaces for celebrations and gatherings of people. Nearly every month there is a holiday of some sort. We have carnivals, fairs, zoo’s, shopping malls, festivals. Being a part of this cultural system has also been a source of frustration for me. I really relish in interpersonal connections (like when people enjoy eating their cookies) and the American culture is very focused on the individual experience. Many people live their lives in relative isolation, working and carrying out their lives parallel to, and not intertwined with those around them.

Then there is the COOKIE PART!!(the cooked dough)
This part of the cookie is made up of many ingredients all mixed together to make a whole part of the cookie. Each ingredient is individually unseen but vital in the existence of the successful (tasty) cookie. In this part of my personality, I think of the systems (mostly challenging ones) in my past which have shaped me the most. They are the systems that are equally unseen in my life as each the separate ingredient of the cookie dough.
The SYSTEMS that make up my unseen past are:
Abuse Victims: Through enduring and continually healing from an abusive past, I’ve come out as someone with emotional independence, pride in who I am and where I’m going, and strength in my abilities to overcome. This journey of healing is long, hard and interesting. Interesting because it requires the full range of growth. It travels from feeling like nothing, to being proud of who you are and embracing that existence. “The spiritual journey is full of paradoxes. One of them is that the humiliation that brings us down-down to ground on which is safe to stand and to fall-eventually takes us to a firmer and fuller sense of self” (Palmer,p.70). I also carry a spectrum of prejudices that I continually work to acknowledge and, when possible, overcome altogether. “We will become better… not by trying to fill the potholes in our souls, but by knowing them so well that we can avoid falling into them” (Palmer, p. 52).
Depression: I’ve lived with, experienced, and supported a number of family members who have suffered with depression and mood altering imbalances. This has helped me to be aware of my emotions, objectively guide my actions, and maintain a realistic view of the world. I’ve also developed some understanding about supporting someone struggling in these ways, and the cyclic nature of these systems.
Alcoholism: My life has been affected by people suffering from it as long as I can remember. I am careful about not allowing myself to develop negative habits or dependencies. I have developed a certain level of acceptance and tolerance for this disease. Though, at times, the saddening effects of the system of alcoholism still grasp me.

Each cookie has its own distinct BUMPY SURFACE!!
This aspect of the cookie represents my individuality. Those things that truly set me apart, my flaws, my awkwardness, my quirky, spunky side. I embrace this “bumpiness” as my identity. It’s what makes me an individual cookie- like none other.
Some of the SYSTEMS that have made me an individual are:
Geography: Living in the Pacific Northwest most of my life has helped shape me into someone who loves nature, animals, certain clothing styles, changing seasons and… rain. Also, living in San Diego for a (relatively) large chunk of my adult life imbedded in me a love for the convenience of a city who values recreational activities. San Diego also helped solidify my taste in music and our goals in raising our family in a “smaller” environment (with bigger yards).
School: The public school system provided me the opportunity to learn most all of my early academic knowledge and realize my love of learning. In terms of social interaction and my system of friends I met and kept through the same system, I learned how to BE me. I interacted with those around me, learned what worked and what didn’t work for me socially. What type of people I had fun with and some beginnings of how to handle uncomfortable situations socially.
Socioeconomic class: The class that I grew up in did not allow me to be likeable for the stuff or clothes I had. I didn’t have a lot of stuff. We moved a lot usually from financial struggles. Both of these made it necessary for me to actively make friends. My friends weren’t those I’d had all my life since school began. My friend systems weren’t built in, because I was often the new kid. I found ways to be noticed and likeable. Further, I was always aware of “not having the money”. From a young age I had an intimate relationship with the feeling of wanting and not affording. From this I value my ability to truly acknowledge what I have in my life and be thankful for and create abundances around me. I am also real cheap with my money. I worry about spending. Always.


Chocolate chip cookies have a
MONOCHROMATIC COLOR SCHEME!
(they’re all brown)

Since they are all brown, the potential for change is extreme. Anything changed or added to the cookie will be noticed and welcomed. (say… m&m’s?) This infinite potential for change represents my tendency to strive for self improvement and gained knowledge as well as my unceasing creativity!
The SYSTEMS that has directly utilized this part of me is:
Marriage: The ability to seek and accept change is vital to a lasting relationship.
Parenthood: Flexibility is in the top most important characteristics of any parent.
Artist: Having a creative outlet keeps me balanced. My art is my sanctuary.

















Not only am I the cookie and there are systems that have worked to shape my internal self… There are systems that make up my external environment as well. My “influential” systems. This is my OVEN. (within which the cookie is baked)

My external systems (oven) is my environment, it effects HOW all my ingredients (internalized systems) interact and what the more current manifestation is, or how the cookie turns out! “The performance of a system is not the sum of the independent effects of its parts: it is the product of their interactions” (Gharajedaghi & Ackoff, p. 24).

My outwardly influential systems are the more current systems that affect my experience, thoughts and actions. They are:

College: Being a part of this Human Services program guides my thinking, and I follow. I spend my time learning and thinking about the subjects that are presented to me in classes. The system of western and this human services program directly influences the areas in which I emphasize my learning. I am always trying to learn more and be better, I end up pushing myself to a fault. I’m learning that it’s all about living in “a creative tension between our limits and our potentials”(Palmer, p.55).

Family: I do nothing without considering how it may affect my daughter and husband. We work together and learn and grow within our little system in our home. A big part of my extended family lives close together. We help each other, run errands, talk to each other, support each other and cooperate to make our lives to smoother and be happier.

This category of systems are all SOCIETAL systems:

Family Ideals: Here is the scary part. My life is completely modeled after the “Jones’s”. The system of Family Ideals involves things like: Marriage, children, home, car payment, IRA’s, Health Insurance, Career in the household, household pets… etc. Not only that, I finally feel happy, content and as though I’ve “arrived” somewhere. Is this a coincidence that I just so happened that my individual goals and triumphs so perfectly models this societal ideal? Further, I act to protect these accomplishments and orient my goals that will further this ideal. For example: Buying property, building our own house, get a dog. I FEEL like our goals and hopes and wants are individual,but are we really? Do you want the same things I want?

Gender roles: I don’t fundamentally agree with the constraints that gender roles place on our population, but I live by them. My husband works, I’m a mom who (mostly) stays home. I clean – he works in the garage. (He does laundry and cooks—so I guess we are breaking through). Chloe actually told me the other day that “Doctors are boys.” I said, girls can be doctors, and she said: “No, girls are mommies.” The lessons we teach by example are the strongest ones, I guess. (of course we had the follow up conversation about we can be anything we want when we ‘grow up’)

Parenthood: Societal systems affect my motherhood in a variety of ways in order for me to provide a healthy environment for her to thrive. Examples: Limiting Television. Ensuring healthy attachment and emotional fulfillment. Respectful discipline. Education in the home.

Nutrition: I am influenced by our societal system of accepted nutrition. I eat out at popular restraints and buy mainstream foods. I struggle to stay away from food that is more convenient than healthy.

This category of systems pertains to my PRIVELEGES. What systems I am a part of that makes my life easier.
Disabled Naval Veteran: My status as a disabled veteran has made me eligible for the program that allows (pays for) me to attend college. Attending college is a huge dream of mine, so this system’s support is extremely valued. I also receive positive regard from people when they hear that I served in the military. This system helps make my life easier.

Physical Size: Being small has been easy on me. It helps me shop and find clothes and shoes easily. I get help with stuff easily when I ask. I get positive attention and I am often viewed as “healthy” and not negatively judged or treated because of my appearance. I suppose this system is as much societal as it is about me being small physically. This makes my life easier.
Skin Color: I don’t know the feeling of racial oppression or prejudice. My experiences of being racially outnumbered are isolated and rare. Let alone what it may feel like to live with that as an everyday reality. This makes my life easier.

Lifestyle sexuality: I don’t have to fight for rights in my relationship. I don’t fear hate crimes. I can choose to be involved with fighting discrimination with regard to sexual preference. This lifestyle makes my life easier.
Economic place: We never have to choose which bill to pay this month. We don’t have to wait for payday to buy stuff our family needs. We never need to stay home because of gas prices. We are planning a vacation and Christmas presents. We are homeowners. We have three cars. We eat out and spend on entertainment. I’ve learned that my childhood economic class effects how BAD I want to be here and society influences the fact that I WANT to be here. This economic place makes my life easier.



A silly extension to my analogy!


The napkin the cookie sits on represents those I touch in my life. The cookie leaves remnants of its presence. Crumbs, smudges of chocolate, warmth, stains… I affect other systems as well by touching individuals I come in contact with in one way or another.

The hope is that I affect people as positively as a chocolate chip cookie does. “We may never know if or how or when our influence will have an effect. The best we can do is act with truth, sincerity, and sensitivity, remembering that it is never one person who brings about change but the feedback of change within the entire system” (Briggs & Peat, p. 50).


“ Contrary to the conventions of our thinly moralistic culture, this emphasis on gladness and selfhood is not selfish…the question ‘Who am I’ leads inevitably to the equally important question ‘Whose am I?’—for there is no selfhood outside of relationship. We must ask the question of selfhood and answer it as honestly as we can, no matter where it takes us. Only as we do so can we discover the community of our lives.
As I learn more about…true self…I also learn more about the ecosystem in which I was planted – the network of communal relations in which I am called to live responsively, accountably, and joyfully with beings of every sort. Only when I know both seed and system, self an community, can I embody the great commandment to love both my neighbor and myself” (Palmer,p. 7).


Kendra
Excellent— presentation on Tuesday night.
· Good identification of multiple overlapping systems. However, you did not merely “list” systems. You also showed in both what you said and in your handout that you are capable of seeing the interconnectedness of systems, which is the learning goal of the quarter. It takes going beyond the personal, while at the same time, embracing the personal. You were able to do this. As you say in your handout, “America is focused on the individual and on individual experience.”
· Extraordinary level of comprehensiveness in name and complexity of systems addressed. What you said showed that you are willing to do the hard work of thinking honestly about everything that has influenced you.
· Creative and effective metaphor used as organizing principle.
· Effective graphic organizer used to support expression of interconnectedness of all systems to which you belong.
· Outstanding weaving in of course materials and texts. You have attended to the central course texts and to many that were available and not dealt with directly.
· No APA errors!!!
· Outstanding work
o Clear Identification of systems: 4/4
o Use of course concepts 4/4
o Depth of thought 3/3
o Quality of expression 3/3
o Creativity of graphic 3/3
o Handout 3/3
o Total 20/20
Given our other conversations, I read with particular interest your comments on “gender” and “Lifestyle sexuality.” You are aware that the “style” you have selected and committed to grants you privilege. Those who choose to think about and/or talk about any, even slight, variation to the “heteronormative style” put their privilege at risk, so your naming your privilege was courageous, as was your statement that, “My lifestyle makes my life easier.”

I look forward to seeing you continue to grow in your profession. You did an outstanding job on this presentation—as you have done in all your work. It is a pleasure to see someone who truly loves to learn.

Patricia M. Fabiano, Ph.D.
Faculty, Student Affairs Administration Program & Human Services Program
Assessment Consultant to the Division of Student Affairs
Miller Hall 353 Mailstop 9087
Western Washington University
Bellingham, WA 98225
360-650-3074
pat.fabiano@wwu.edu

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
Attributed to Alexander of Philo.